Second Time Around - Posted by Harry

Tuesday Sally and I visited the county courthouse and applied for a marriage license. It was a perfect fall morning -- cloudless blue sky, trees gold and red, crowned with sunlight. Indoors was orderly and dull the way most modern courthouses seem to be. We emptied our pockets, stepped through the metal detector, I was scanned. Each of us carried our divorce decrees (Sally's recent, mine over six years old). We both had to place our hands on the Bible and take an oath not to lie about ourselves. The entire process took about 10 minutes. The clerk congratulated us. The state makes it easy to get married, but not at all easy to end a marriage.

Sally and I first decided we would get married nearly two years ago, but I think we've always felt the possibility of marriage with each other almost from the beginning. A little over a month after we had met, we were already finding it a challenge not to spend each day together. We had met in early December of 2007 and by April 2008 we were living together in my house until I sold the house in June of 2008 and we got a rental together. This past April we moved into our own house (the logistics are best left for a separate post). For some time we have been saying to one another that we already feel as if we are married. And we have been waiting a long time for Sally's divorce to be finalized, and part of the process got hung up in court, or with the lawyer failing to follow through with paper work. So it goes....

I feel different, much different than where I was on the eve of my first marriage 27 years ago. I don't feel there are expectations between us and there is a great deal more understanding. I certainly don't have any illusions about marriage, and have learned that you should always cherish the good and not dwell on the bad (and with Sally and me it is always far more good than bad). And our children are grown, so we are not faced with parenting issues except for our misbehaved dogs. Although we have been blessed with wonderful children by different partners in this life, Sally and I have often said that maybe in our next life we will have many children together. I think that's a beautiful wish.