These days most interaction with Sally's and my respective grown children centers around holidays, or the bi-monthly or quarterly invitation to dinner. And I've noticed that increasingly daughters and sons have been visiting accompanied by a boyfriend or girlfriend (there are no spouses ... yet). It seems a natural progression. When Sally and I first set up house 3-1/2 years ago, 4 of our 5 kids were 21 and younger; now 4 of our 5 kids are 21 and older. So begins the mating ritual, and the proclivity (or more laser-like focus) towards a monogamous relationship, or at the very least a boyfriend or girlfriend you're not ashamed to bring home to Mom (or step-mom, or Dad's wife, whatever you prefer). Of course there's more to it than this biological drive to find a suitable partner. The nest becomes something other than empty. Sally and I have watched our sons and daughters moving through college, through the college-age years, and post-college years which is often a time of exponential maturing and new experience. During the first year of the "Great Dispersion" in 2008, all of our legal-aged children had chosen to live on their own or away at college, and with one or two exceptions, any time we received a visit from one of them, they were always alone. My youngest son and daughter, and Sally's youngest daughter would routinely spend the night. Granted, our rental home at the time was considerably smaller, but the reason no one had shown up with a boyfriend or girlfriend during those first couple of years wasn't only about space.
Although our opinions have been largely (but not always) favorable toward the putative boyfriends or girlfriends, the opinions are somewhat irrelevant, they are just opinions, not cause for alarm or (God forbid) intervention and denial of monetary support, of which there is little anyway. I don't believe I'm scrutinizing my sons' and daughter's choices (at least not consciously) as material for my expanding gene pool---I mainly want them to be happy. I understand the happy part, but who knows about the rest....
I'm sure that these recent musings were precipitated by a holiday visit to my brother and his family, a family augmented within the past year-and-two-months by two lovely granddaughters; one just 4-1/2 months, and the other 13 months+ (an incredible age difference when that young). The proximity of wonderful babies and toddlers was magical, hypnotic, and delivered a spirit to Christmas and Hanukkah I had all but forgotten, perhaps more so because at one point there were 4 generations in the room: My nieces, their young daughters, my brother and sister-in-law and my sister-in-law's parents, who are both in their 80's. Wow. While Sally and I will never see the great-grandparents with their grandchildren, it would be nice to be grandparents, but all in due time.....
Sally's youngest daughter had dinner with us this past Friday, and although she has a boyfriend, she chose to visit us sans boyfriend. Probably just as well. We had a lovely dinner with Sally's youngest..... All in due time.....
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