Moved In

We are, moved in that is. And except for a brief emergency hiatus that involved flying to California to see my family a scant four days after the moving truck pulled away, and ON HARRY'S BIRTHDAY, it's been progressing smoothly. By which I mean, the boxes are gradually diminishing, decisions about what goes where (or at least on which floor) are more or less decided, the number of chores to be done (install new smoke detectors, hang the closet hardware, FIND the book I was reading!!!)are also leveling off.

I had hoped that the unpacking phase, wherein ALL the boxes were emptied and flattened and sent to the trash - would be over before I flew off to visit my beloved dysfunctional family. (I actually did accomplish this on one move - four days from truck to DONE! - but I was much younger then. ) THIS time the living room was still awash with unidentified boxes when I was forced to pack what I could find, hoping it would do for the target climate, to go off in a fatigued daze.

I actually did have a pleasant visit, as these things go, with my family. Sometimes when you belong to the kind of screwed-up nexus my family represents (I will go into this in more detail sometime) you focus on the chaos - of which there was plenty - and forget how lovely it is to see people who love you (and have known you since you were born) and how terrific it is to see the changes time has wrought in some of them.

More on my family at some other time. (Or on some other blog.)

I returned to my new home find my Harry happily ensconced in this pretty house, a large and sunny space that did not seem my own. In CA I had been imagining Harry, while we talked on the phone, in the OLD house...

Well, okay. The neurotic dog has adjusted,kinda, (although she has apparently forgotten she's housetrained), the cats have come up from hiding places in the cellar, and all of the kids have been to visit. (One has actually moved in for the summer.) We're here.

We've been talking about getting married. (We bought wedding rings ages ago, but this is serious - a ceremony, with kids and others. A big party, for everyone we know?)

Don't get me wrong, I think Harry and I should be married, but I can't help worrying about what it all MEANS. Not just a big party.

Probably I am just as dysfunctional as the rest of my primary blood relatives - only one of whom, in living memory, has contracted a marriage that works. I hesitated to marry the father of my daughters - and I was right! - I was never one of those (little) girls who fantasize about wedding veils. And, at the moment, one of the big issues I have not shared with my beloved Harry, is I HAVE NOTHING TO WEAR!!!

Think that's trivial? Fuck you.

Very Happy with House - posted by Harry

I'm mildly ashamed at the amount of time that's passed since my last entry. First there was the house closing and moving, the packing and unpacking, and more unpacking, and cleaning, and did I mention more unpacking? We're not completely out of the woods yet. Then I anticipated work would be getting easier, but in fact it has gotten worse, and so it goes.... Enough carping for now.

The House (with a capital "H") is wonderful. It felt so much like being home, so quickly. Sally and I have a few projects that we're excited about, and there is some electrical upgrades to be done, but overall it feels extremely large and comfortable, it's in a great neighborhood with fine old houses and very friendly neighbors, and even the 1 Brussels-Griffon/Mini-Schnauzer, the 2 cats, and 3 birds seem pleased.

Sally and I did overlook one small detail. On the penultimate night of moving, Sally called me from the house as I was out foraging for Chinese food and told me that we did not have a Dishwasher! Huh? I was stunned. For all the snooping around and inspecting we'd done (not to mention the legal documents like seller's disclosure agreement) how did we miss a modern amenity like a dishwasher? We've since procured what looks like a good one for only $100. (Thanks Craigslist!) and we have an electrician ready to install a line. We will probably redo our counter top and we have to modify cabinets and then we can maybe install the dishwasher ourselves.

We also discovered that the clothes dryer did not work, but that has already been taken care of. I think one can get by without a dishwasher longer than a clothes dryer.

All in all, the house has so many nice features that new used appliances don't seem to be a very big trade-off.

My second oldest son is out of college for the summer and staying with Sally and I in our finished attic. I hope he enjoys his time here. My oldest son graduated college on Sunday. :)

Hi, Boyo

Darling,


Our new house!

I'm so excited.

&

I love you.

Totally



"SALLY"

Hi, Boyo (have I used this title before?)

As I sit amidst the ruins of our (first? only? whatever - ) house.. .

To explain: In hopes of our CLOSING DATE of April ("Whan that Abril with his shoores sweete. .. ")

Oh, never mind. I do remember the bucks farteth, though.

We have been desultorially packing (more to the point NOT CLEANING) for weeks, so it is really, REALLY depressing here. Everywhere I look I see things that will not fit in boxes, or which I am embarrassed to own, or...I could go on but would rather not.

Still, darling Boyo.

I am really ready to move on to our NEW HOME.

Hopefully you will rediscover your computer, and our website (hmm?) after a while...

I love you immoderately.

Is there any other way?


(posted by Sally)

Brilliant Beach Day

Easter - an actual tradition, or just one conjured out of happiness, lust and happenstance - One year (an early one, dear heart) when all our sons and daughters had something else to do on Easter Sunday and we found ourselves all alone in the cold, watching the waves, at Ocean Beach State Park (NJ) and we. ...
and...

Again,

it was/is always perfect. Even more so this year. The air and light were better and I created a new piece of art in my head. . .

Darling, darling.

How can we do better than this?

Saturn Return

Saturn is the planet of obligations and requirements and all that "YOUR FATHER-expects-you-to-be"...stuff.

My boyo understands, lives that...his dad was wonderful, and loved him

But

The daddy I PERSONALLY had was abusive, alcoholic and stupid

(in my elderly progress toward - understanding? compassion? Not sure) - I try to think (that I should say things like: "Impaired" "shell-shocked" "horrible mother who twisted everything")

BUT

mostly I think

THANK GOD HE IS DEAD

what do I actually know? \

Nothing.

But to return to the issue actually at hand. . .in the heat of a family crisis I was reluctant to engage, I scheduled a trip to visit my mother and siblings on the day my Harry is celebrating in birthday, not to mention his Second Saturn Return.

There were mitigating circumstances, but -


I am not going there.


I have to go and deal with the fact my mother is (or is not) dying; my sister is (or is not) unable to cope with our Mummy's dying. . . .

And our brother -

Where is our brother, exactly?

My Birthday - I am the April Fool - April is the Cruelest Month, etc.

We close on our house (the one in the picture that Sally posted) on April 21, and we begin moving.

Sally is flying to California to see her mother, brother and sister on April 29, which also happens to be my birthday. It's important Sally make this trip to see her family. We will celebrate my birthday on April 28 in our new house.

I've almost made it to my my second Saturn Return. 59 may be a slightly more accurate age, but I'm in the ballpark.

http://astrology.about.com/od/advancedastrology/p/SaturnReturn.htm