Saturn Return

Saturn is the planet of obligations and requirements and all that "YOUR FATHER-expects-you-to-be"...stuff.

My boyo understands, lives that...his dad was wonderful, and loved him

But

The daddy I PERSONALLY had was abusive, alcoholic and stupid

(in my elderly progress toward - understanding? compassion? Not sure) - I try to think (that I should say things like: "Impaired" "shell-shocked" "horrible mother who twisted everything")

BUT

mostly I think

THANK GOD HE IS DEAD

what do I actually know? \

Nothing.

But to return to the issue actually at hand. . .in the heat of a family crisis I was reluctant to engage, I scheduled a trip to visit my mother and siblings on the day my Harry is celebrating in birthday, not to mention his Second Saturn Return.

There were mitigating circumstances, but -


I am not going there.


I have to go and deal with the fact my mother is (or is not) dying; my sister is (or is not) unable to cope with our Mummy's dying. . . .

And our brother -

Where is our brother, exactly?