Reconnecting

Over the past weekend I attended my niece's wedding/baby party in northern New Jersey. I had a wonderful time and saw some friends that I had not seen in years (or decades). And because there was a small window of time in which to try and catch up with all these friends, I found myself repeating that Sally and I would come back for a weekend and spend more time, sleep over, etc. because these friends are anywhere from 2 - 2-1/2 hours away. Seemed like a reasonable plan. However, as we drove home, I realized Sally and I have our life here, and it's a good life, and my previous impulse towards a more extended reunion was somewhat abated. I've been experiencing similar feelings on and off for the past quarter century but with different people, and over time (and probably with my getting older) I don't feel conflicted if I can't meet a social obligation.

Sally and I spend the majority of our time with one another, and we see some friends and family on either side once or twice a year, and maybe some friends several times a year, and kids a bit more than that. I think the time we spend with friends --- which always results in positive feelings, at least for me --- is not quite where it should be at this stage, but since 2008 we have been in the process of getting out lives in order with a substantial and often unexpected cloud of unsettled dust. The house is still a major work-in-progress and we are cash strapped. But we've had this house for 4 months now and it feels quite good and we plan to be married in October once Sally's divorce is finalized. So things are moving forward, and hopefully will continue to move forward. I envision a nice house party in the early Spring and more weekends away to New Jersey, New York, Delaware, Rhode Island, maybe even California (Sally's family) in the not too distant future.

I feel these types of relationships have also changed to the point where everyone seems a little more relaxed about how often they see one another. We all understand.