Waking in the Night

Both Harry and I seem to be experiencing writing -- blocks? Hindrances?

At least I am.

Still, I want to post this:

Whenever I wake up in the night,

And see Harry sleeping next to me

I think:

"How lucky am I?"

and

then I kiss his shoulder (or cheek, or whatever is accessible)


and I go back to sleep.


I am so grateful, and blessed, and happy.

New Year, New Marriage

Sally and I were married last Sunday, January 2. We hadn't so much as picked the date as much as the date picked itself. We had to use our PA marriage license within 60 days and encountered challenges in finding a marriage celebrant/officiant or even a magistrate/justice-of-the-peace to marry us. The license was set to expire on January 9. Sally and I had been hoping to marry possibly before Christmas, once two of our children were home from college on winter break, however the only wedding officiant who'd agreed to marry us for a reasonable fee, and whom we both really liked, was not available to marry us until after the new year. Sunday 1/2 then was the first and best day to have our wedding---1/1/11 would have been cool, but maybe plagued by a few hangovers, and Sally and I also wanted our five adult children present.

Now that we are married, what do we do with the rest of our lives?

Well, for one we both agreed long before our wedding ceremony that we were married to one another, in that there was already a deep commitment, even though the commitment hadn't been legally sanctioned. Sally and I pray to be together for the rest of our lives and then some.

The wedding ceremony was a perfect coda to a very fine and joyous holiday season. I want to share a reading from the ceremony.

Happy New Year!

Wedding Prayer
May God bless you with Hope enough to keep sunshine in your love, and Fear enough to keep you holding hands in the dark; Unity enough to keep your roots entwined, and Separation enough to keep you reaching for each other;
Harmony enough to keep romance in your song; and
Discord enough to keep you tuning your love so it becomes sweet music to all who may hear it. Amen

More Thanksgiving Musings

I have everything to be thankful for as well. I was particularly glad this year that my one of my sons stayed with us past dinner and spent the night. We went to a party at the house where Sally's daughter lives and my son really enjoyed being able to interact with many other 20-somethings (50 and 60 somethings were way outnumbered!)

We spent approximately 12 hours on Friday at the orphans annual Thanksgiving banquet held in West Philadelphia this year. Great food, great drink, great conversation and above all great friends to share the holiday with as well as Sally and our children. This has been an exceptionally good Thanksgiving for me among many good ones.

Looking forward to Christmas.

And everyone should have a Sally too!

Thankful

I'm thankful for my beautiful and healthy daughters and their loving, supportive relationship with one another.

I'm thankful for this lovely and comfortable house, for all the critters that share it with us, even the dogs who drive me crazy a lot of the time.

I'm thankful that my mom is doing well, and my sister is doing as well as she can, and that my little brother is the brilliant and sensitive businessman, father and husband that he is. That he loves and cares for me even though that is not always easy.

Most of all this particular Thanksgiving I am thankful for my Harry, who tells me I am beautiful and hugs me whenever he can, whose kisses are still and always magic, who loves and cares for me and all the people important to him, who doesn't get angry when I am sulky or difficult, and who tells me over and over how much he loves me. It is balm for my mother-neglected, poorly married and still evolving self.

Everyone should have a Harry in her life.

Thanksgiving Plans

Harry and I are going to do it ALL this Thanksgiving.

He and his ex take turns having their children for T'day; this year it's his turn so he and I (well, he. I have never roasted a turkey in my life) will make a traditional Thanksgiving dinner for his three grown children and their significant others (one of whom has become vegetarian in the past year, but I'm sorry there will be no Terducken) at our house. My grown-up daughters, who will be dinner hopping, will grace us with their presence for dessert.
Then in the evening Harry and I will repair to my traditional Thanksgiving venue; a moving affair of old friends (and serious foodies) to which I have belonged for almost thirty years.
I will make my signature Brussels Sprouts with Walnuts for 12 (at home) and 23 (at the Foodies.') We will probably serve jellied cranberry goop for the kids' dinner because it's "traditional" but I will draw the line at that "salad" involving miniature marshmallows and Reddi-Whip.
I will be keeping my fingers crossed there will be Brie en Croute and stuffed grape leaves (both traditional hors d'oeures for the foodies) left by the time we get there.
Somewhere in there Harry will have to get his football in. At home, because at the foodies one of the cardinal rules (akin to "there will be turkey") is "NO FOOTBALL."

Second Time Around - Posted by Harry

Tuesday Sally and I visited the county courthouse and applied for a marriage license. It was a perfect fall morning -- cloudless blue sky, trees gold and red, crowned with sunlight. Indoors was orderly and dull the way most modern courthouses seem to be. We emptied our pockets, stepped through the metal detector, I was scanned. Each of us carried our divorce decrees (Sally's recent, mine over six years old). We both had to place our hands on the Bible and take an oath not to lie about ourselves. The entire process took about 10 minutes. The clerk congratulated us. The state makes it easy to get married, but not at all easy to end a marriage.

Sally and I first decided we would get married nearly two years ago, but I think we've always felt the possibility of marriage with each other almost from the beginning. A little over a month after we had met, we were already finding it a challenge not to spend each day together. We had met in early December of 2007 and by April 2008 we were living together in my house until I sold the house in June of 2008 and we got a rental together. This past April we moved into our own house (the logistics are best left for a separate post). For some time we have been saying to one another that we already feel as if we are married. And we have been waiting a long time for Sally's divorce to be finalized, and part of the process got hung up in court, or with the lawyer failing to follow through with paper work. So it goes....

I feel different, much different than where I was on the eve of my first marriage 27 years ago. I don't feel there are expectations between us and there is a great deal more understanding. I certainly don't have any illusions about marriage, and have learned that you should always cherish the good and not dwell on the bad (and with Sally and me it is always far more good than bad). And our children are grown, so we are not faced with parenting issues except for our misbehaved dogs. Although we have been blessed with wonderful children by different partners in this life, Sally and I have often said that maybe in our next life we will have many children together. I think that's a beautiful wish.

Great Uncle?

There is a new addition to our extended family. Yesterday my younger brother became a grandfather when his youngest daughter gave birth to a baby girl, Nyomi. She is adorable with abundant hair as shown here.