Even before he mentioned it in his post I had noticed that Harry doesn't use a daybook or calendar or even (given that he is, after all, a tech geek) one of those electronic thingies that keep track of your life for you. I never thought about Harry's eschewing of calendars and the like in philosophical terms. If anything, Harry enjoys marking time (anniversaries, birthdays, other important markers) more than most people. He's the one who invented monthaversaries; he has a calendar in his head. He lies next to me in bed in the morning, while my eyes are still closed and I am still fighting the whole idea of waking up, cheerfully sharing his plans for the day:
"I'll make coffee, and we'll have breakfast, then we'll work on the puzzle for a while, and then I'll walk the dog and after that we will go shopping, then you're going to work at the store and by the way what would you like for dinner tonight?"
I think it's adorable, even if I can't exactly get behind it at minus 7 am, a hour when I am constitutionally unable to think about ANYTHING besides sleeping longer, or maybe having sex and THEN going back to sleep...after all somebody DOES have to make sure we eat, go to the occasional movie and see that the dog gets walked and all that. I mean, I can and do do my share of that, but certainly not before I've had coffee.
I love (although I don't always enjoy) that Harry thinks about, plans for and manages our life. Sometimes I have to fight the urge to snap at him when he asks me (at the aforementioned ungodly hour of 7 am on Saturday! If I want salmon or snapper for dinner that night, or if I'm leaving for work at 10 or 10:30, or which of the movies we've discussed I want to see the next night. But mostly I don't because I know it's all about Harry making sure we're going to be together.
Which I can, and do, get behind.
Happy 2010, darling Harry. I wish this post had more substance. Fluff is all my brain is up to these days.
Thursday, December 31, 2009
Marking Time: Posted by Harry
Marking Time:
While maybe not my favorite, New Year’s is still a pretty good holiday. It’s of course about being with the people you love more than some forced and often substance-laden good time. It has been a tradition of mine since the late 70s to take a long walk or hike on New Year’s Day, weather permitting. Somehow walking through the woods or park, and hopefully with sun and clear air, not only shakes off the lethargy of the holidays and the winter solstice, but also cleanses and renews because the first day of the year is often a day where work, or social commitments, or plans are put on hold.
The biggest problem I have with New Years is the idea of marking time. I have the same problem with birthdays. I always like a good party, or celebration, always enjoy receiving a birthday gift and cake (who doesn’t), but it can be a bit ridiculous and arbitrary to feel that you must “sum up” what’s happened in your life over the past year and then make plans or resolutions for the coming year. It isn’t that one’s plans or resolutions are inherently a bad thing (although to quote John Lennon, “life is what’s happening while you’re busy making plans”) ---- it’s more the danger of taking life too seriously. I am most annoyed by the Engineering of Time, or the Linear Construct of Time, which we in the Western World have been programmed to do for centuries, beginning most likely with the appearance of clocks in the Middle Ages. I don’t even own a calendar or day planner, though I understand the need to remind myself of things, because I’m pretty absent minded. And although I’ve managed to incorporate the inevitability of aging and mortality into my thinking, I don’t see the necessity of attaching numbers to what I’m feeling on a cellular level.
Okay, so it’s the end of the first decade of the 21st Century. Frankly, I had never envisioned being here at this time, not out of any foreboding of apocalypse but simply because in my checkered youth I wasn’t capable of imagining so far into the future. And when I became older and succumbed to the lure of ball-gazing about where and how I’d ultimately wind up, the picture that shimmered in the mind’s crystal was not at all what came to pass, and that’s the beauty of it.
I know I’m cribbing from much great 19th and early 20th century literature, but I like august company, and hey ---- It’s New Year’s!
I have all the Love and Happiness I could ever possibly know. I am free.
Here’s to a Happy New Year with my Sally, and (God willing) the rest of the world.
Posted by Harry
12/31/2009
While maybe not my favorite, New Year’s is still a pretty good holiday. It’s of course about being with the people you love more than some forced and often substance-laden good time. It has been a tradition of mine since the late 70s to take a long walk or hike on New Year’s Day, weather permitting. Somehow walking through the woods or park, and hopefully with sun and clear air, not only shakes off the lethargy of the holidays and the winter solstice, but also cleanses and renews because the first day of the year is often a day where work, or social commitments, or plans are put on hold.
The biggest problem I have with New Years is the idea of marking time. I have the same problem with birthdays. I always like a good party, or celebration, always enjoy receiving a birthday gift and cake (who doesn’t), but it can be a bit ridiculous and arbitrary to feel that you must “sum up” what’s happened in your life over the past year and then make plans or resolutions for the coming year. It isn’t that one’s plans or resolutions are inherently a bad thing (although to quote John Lennon, “life is what’s happening while you’re busy making plans”) ---- it’s more the danger of taking life too seriously. I am most annoyed by the Engineering of Time, or the Linear Construct of Time, which we in the Western World have been programmed to do for centuries, beginning most likely with the appearance of clocks in the Middle Ages. I don’t even own a calendar or day planner, though I understand the need to remind myself of things, because I’m pretty absent minded. And although I’ve managed to incorporate the inevitability of aging and mortality into my thinking, I don’t see the necessity of attaching numbers to what I’m feeling on a cellular level.
Okay, so it’s the end of the first decade of the 21st Century. Frankly, I had never envisioned being here at this time, not out of any foreboding of apocalypse but simply because in my checkered youth I wasn’t capable of imagining so far into the future. And when I became older and succumbed to the lure of ball-gazing about where and how I’d ultimately wind up, the picture that shimmered in the mind’s crystal was not at all what came to pass, and that’s the beauty of it.
I know I’m cribbing from much great 19th and early 20th century literature, but I like august company, and hey ---- It’s New Year’s!
I have all the Love and Happiness I could ever possibly know. I am free.
Here’s to a Happy New Year with my Sally, and (God willing) the rest of the world.
Posted by Harry
12/31/2009
Thursday, December 17, 2009
Last Weekend and The Christmas Tree
Hi Darling -- It was a great weekend by any measure with the mild exception of no NYT Sunday crossword puzzle...
I'm really beginning to catch the holiday spirit, and I'm catching it with You Darling in a big way.
Because it was pouring out all day last Sunday, I put off getting our Xmas tree. I finally managed to pick one up late Wednesday night after piano lesson (around 9pm, late for me) and bring it home. We are trimming the tree today. Plan on going to Manyaunk for Christmas shopping this weekend. Also, hope to see movies this weekend and over the next two weeks. We've both seen all our children within the past week, and of course we will see them all again on Christmas.
Sallie and I are good. There is much joy right now, but we are also thinking of others who may be having a rough holiday season, and trying to help where it is possible.
I'm really beginning to catch the holiday spirit, and I'm catching it with You Darling in a big way.
Because it was pouring out all day last Sunday, I put off getting our Xmas tree. I finally managed to pick one up late Wednesday night after piano lesson (around 9pm, late for me) and bring it home. We are trimming the tree today. Plan on going to Manyaunk for Christmas shopping this weekend. Also, hope to see movies this weekend and over the next two weeks. We've both seen all our children within the past week, and of course we will see them all again on Christmas.
Sallie and I are good. There is much joy right now, but we are also thinking of others who may be having a rough holiday season, and trying to help where it is possible.
Monday, December 14, 2009
Hi, Boyo
Just checking in with you.
I THINK about posting all the time, and then I think, "not really that interesting," and I - don't.
Maybe you do that too.
I love you, my Boyo. It was a spectacular weekend, by any measure.
So looking forward to the next one.
Posted by Sally.
I THINK about posting all the time, and then I think, "not really that interesting," and I - don't.
Maybe you do that too.
I love you, my Boyo. It was a spectacular weekend, by any measure.
So looking forward to the next one.
Posted by Sally.
Tuesday, December 8, 2009
Happy Anniversary, Harry!
The whole first year we were together we celebrated "monthaversaries." The fourth of each month was cause for wining and dining. (Not that Harry and I ever needed any particular reason to wine and dine.)
This December was an actual anniversary, our second, and was duly celebrated. We went to listen to Armenian music and eat Indonesian food. It was wonderful, but I have to say the best part was coming home. Probably this had something to do with our date coming at the end of a long work week. I think it may also have something to do with the fact that evenings at home together are not so plentiful these days. . .our Netflixs gather quite a bit of dust lying around waiting for us to be at home together long enough to watch one.
Probably when I'm working less I'll be more eager to go out again, but right now my idea of a perfect evening is dinner with Harry, watching TV and fending off the animals, who think the sofa is theirs.
(By Sally)
This December was an actual anniversary, our second, and was duly celebrated. We went to listen to Armenian music and eat Indonesian food. It was wonderful, but I have to say the best part was coming home. Probably this had something to do with our date coming at the end of a long work week. I think it may also have something to do with the fact that evenings at home together are not so plentiful these days. . .our Netflixs gather quite a bit of dust lying around waiting for us to be at home together long enough to watch one.
Probably when I'm working less I'll be more eager to go out again, but right now my idea of a perfect evening is dinner with Harry, watching TV and fending off the animals, who think the sofa is theirs.
(By Sally)
Friday, December 4, 2009
December 4: Posted by Harry
I met Sallie two years ago on this date, December 4. I remember the way she looked at me when I met her in a Starbucks on Broad Street in Philadelphia. There was warmth and kindness in her smile. I hadn’t been feeling well that day, but I somehow knew after a month of emailing and a phone conversation that I really needed to see her. We had postponed meeting over Thanksgiving because of Sally’s tradition of spending Thanksgiving with the orphans, but I’m extremely grateful we decided to meet when we did. Sally had mentioned in an email that if we didn’t meet by early December, then we would run the risk of missing one another due to the Christmas Holiday vortex. It’s all in the timing.
As it turned out, the month was surprisingly stress-free and one of the most beautiful I have ever experienced, and I’ve had many good Decembers, especially when my three kids were small---they were sometimes hard work, but emotionally rich and satisfying overall. But December two years ago, December of 2007, seemed to possess this seasonal magic, and I felt harmony and perfection with my now older kids and the blossoming of my love with Sally. Only one time during that month had I expressed a fear about getting behind on shopping or Christmas to-do’s, but everything fell into place so easily. Sally and I had several brilliant dates (including Atonement in Center City when we kissed goodbye on the sidewalk, and the wonderful weekend watching “The Parrots of Telegraph Hill”) and we spent the most tender, loving, Christmas Eve and part of Christmas Day together, as well as the last few days of the year, and the first day of the New Year.
So much has happened since then my mind reels if I try to absorb it all, try to conjure all the myriad moments of our love. There have been some hard times too, but I believe most of our arguments or issues, when addressed in a loving or honest way, have enabled us to grow. And we’ve had (and have) such great joy together. My prayer and wish for our third and subsequent years is that we stay healthy and enjoy our lives together while we can. I know we’ll keep on loving.
As it turned out, the month was surprisingly stress-free and one of the most beautiful I have ever experienced, and I’ve had many good Decembers, especially when my three kids were small---they were sometimes hard work, but emotionally rich and satisfying overall. But December two years ago, December of 2007, seemed to possess this seasonal magic, and I felt harmony and perfection with my now older kids and the blossoming of my love with Sally. Only one time during that month had I expressed a fear about getting behind on shopping or Christmas to-do’s, but everything fell into place so easily. Sally and I had several brilliant dates (including Atonement in Center City when we kissed goodbye on the sidewalk, and the wonderful weekend watching “The Parrots of Telegraph Hill”) and we spent the most tender, loving, Christmas Eve and part of Christmas Day together, as well as the last few days of the year, and the first day of the New Year.
So much has happened since then my mind reels if I try to absorb it all, try to conjure all the myriad moments of our love. There have been some hard times too, but I believe most of our arguments or issues, when addressed in a loving or honest way, have enabled us to grow. And we’ve had (and have) such great joy together. My prayer and wish for our third and subsequent years is that we stay healthy and enjoy our lives together while we can. I know we’ll keep on loving.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)