Ground Hog Day

I have never understood Ground Hog Day.

He comes out of his burrow and sees his shadow, & there's six more weeks of winter? Why? The sun is out -

Or is that if he DOESN'T see his shadow? (which would make more sense)

When I moved to PA, there was a whole more local and personal approach - seems we have a specific ground hog with a name, etc. Local news programs do spots...

I don't know.

But today, this particular February 2cd is a GOOD DAY. After losing two (out of three) jobs in as many weeks, and worrying my Harry (vis, supporting me, life after divorce, adult children, etc. etc.-) much more than necessary, more than I ever, ever will (god willing) again -

I seem to have a JOB !

I feel readmitted to adulthood, and thankful withal.

NOTwithstanding an incident at my children's school the other night, that reminded and depressed me, about life with the EX. . .

I dreamed extensively last night and woke realizing how much my interminable marriage limited and constrained me. It was always "you CAN'T do this, you're not good enough to try that; No, that is NOT for for YOU. . . "

I mourned, at some low (-er than usual) point in the marriage, that I had traded everything for the right to have babies...

& Ex scoffed at me in the night, but I was right. If maudlin.

First to have one child (what did he know?) and then another. . .In between there were the losses I have not forgotten. My Owen Andrew, stillborn at nine months. (his father wouldn't recognize the name or his child; he dismissed our son as completely as he had a miscarriage and the so-called "disgenetic" pregnancy I terminated because I could not compromise my three-year old daughter's claim on our (limited) resources. . .

It's all water under the bridge now but I don't know how to consign it to unimportance. Harry doesn't ask me to.

Harry has his own water under the bridge.

I love Harry


Posted by Sally





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